Saturday, August 23, 2008


"When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth ..."--John 16:13 NLT

Yesterday I had an intellectual conversation with a friend, and we have these sorts of conversations frequently (the topic varies), and I feel maybe we are too serious for our age sometimes...but it's becoming one of my favorite things to do. Does this make me lame? Maybe just a tad.

We discussed several different aspects of doubt. When I say several I do mean several. I'll discuss a few here, and of course, I welcome any and all comments, whether they are in agreement with the thoughts I present or not.

One thing I have noticed is that at ACU, for the most part, it's not okay to doubt. Yes, there are professors and peers who are okay with it, but the majority of the time when one admits they have doubts about their faith, the reaction is typically negative. For instance, I once wrote a paper my freshman year and one thing I stated was that I felt it was good in the end when a person doubts--that person asks questions and (hopefully) does some investigating, which should eventually lead them to a deeper understanding and stronger faith. Not only did my professor disagree with me, he docked my paper a letter grade (10 points). His side comment in the margins of my paper read something to the effect of 'as Christians we should never doubt.'

In a community of faith, people should feel the liberty to be honest about what they are going through. And unfortunately, we have all been burned by the judgment of a peer. And this has taught us to hide truths we are scared we will be judged for again.

Well, in a perfect world, we would all have faith of steel--we'd always know and feel the love of God, and sense his presence and infinite power...yadda yadda yadda. In reality, there are times it is hard to reconcile this supposed all benevolent nature of God with the horrendous tragedies that happen (natural disasters, death of a child, abuse, etc.). When these terrible things happen, people wonder how God can let it happen. Where was God when that happened? Where is He now? Why God, why?

Well I have no answer...and as far as I can on really does. I know in my heart that at the end of the day God is real, He is with me, and that He is powerful. And I also know that the end of Job rings true--we speak of things we do not understand, and we'll never fully "get it." So I guess my hope and prayer is that I can "get it" a little more each day, and that others who think they already "get it" can learn that they don't, because frankly...telling someone who just experienced great tragedy that God is in control doesn't necessarily comfort them. While I haven't sorted everything out, one thing I know is that God is with us when we suffer, and while He may not just snap his fingers, so to speak, and make it all better, His heart breaks when ours breaks, and there is always comfort in knowing that we don't walk through the valley alone.

On a happier note relating to God...I went to church today at Southern Hills and they have totally revamped their late service to be more modern and more geared towards college students. It was definitely an improvement! I really liked SoHi (as I like to call it) before, but I like it even more now. Todays service ended with a call to not feel like the end of the service was a conclusion but to feel like it was the beginning of our week, to bring the love of God to the people we interact with. One thing that was said was that we meet people all the time who are gasping for just one breath of God's love, and that we are that breath. light everything blogged thus far today...One thing I know is God is real, and it's my fervrent hope and prayer that all my loved ones, and all the people I interact with, would come to know His Love. I hope everyone has a blessed Sunday, and a blessed week ahead.

"Doubting Thomas" by Nickel Creek
What will be left when I've drawn my last breath

Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me

Will I discover a soul-saving love

Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas

I took a promise

But I do not feel safe

Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face

Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward

If there's a master of death

I bet he's holding his breath

As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises

Cause I don't know what's safe
Oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie

Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs

That prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs

Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas

I'll take your promise

Though I know nothin's safe

Oh me of little faith

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